God has this incredible way of making you feel like a queen.
Not the type that dictates, is conceited, and expects people to do things for her.
The type that cares for her people, that rules with grace & wisdom, whose beauty is inside and out, and empowers those around her; never ever putting them down.
We had a scare last week. My mom got into a terrible car accident, but by God’s grace and mercy she came out untouched. She is a little bruised up, but no broken bones, internal bleeding, or anything scary we should worry about. She has Lupus & a heart condition, so we were very nervous about her health. Unfortunately she has been experiencing a lot of anxiety because of it, and doctors diagnosed her with PTSD because of it.
I came the morning after the accident with my kids and was just there for her. Helping her with her next steps, and helping prepare for what is to come. We stayed the night to make sure she felt safe and comforted. It was hard for me to see her in the state she was in. I felt sad and frustrated. Frustrated because she is supposed to be my mom and have it together, but sad because it is hard to see my mom vulnerable and weak. She has always been so strong, never vulnerable around us, and I found myself uncomfortable.
Even writing those words is hard, because I am her daughter, it’s terrible to feel that way. But if I am being real and honest with myself, that is a real emotion I felt, and that is okay. It’s okay to feel things that may not necessarily be good, what matters is what we do next with those feelings.
I called my husband and expressed to him how I was feeling, he pretty much told me I am mean, thanks babe! LOL! But after I prayed, I asked God to help me understand my feelings, help me to understand my mom, to use me for His will in this situation. And boy did God work!
It was 2am, my mom woke up from a nightmare, and expressed to me what was bothering her. She was afraid that she could have died. This is her second time coming close to death and she has always been in prepared mode if it should happen again. So once those words left her mouth, I felt like I finally understood her. And every word that came out of my mouth after that was purely from God.
I went straight to empowering her. That God loves her, that she has purpose on this earth. That he has redeemed her again for a reason. That there is nothing she can do that changes what God feels about her. That she still has life here on this earth. To praise Him, not sink into grief of the “what could have happened.” It all just came spilling out, words of love and encouragement. Reminding her of who Jesus is, and how miraculous He has always been in her life! I gave her all I could and was just as vulnerable as she was with me. We prayed and just thanked God for all He had done in her life.
We may have disagreements in the God we worship, but Jesus is the same no matter what. What He did on that cross, that message doesn’t change. It is a message of Hope, and brings healing every time we remember it. It is why this time of the season is so special because God’s greatest gift was given to us! And we would never have that message if He didn’t first give.
As I reflect back on that early morning, as tired as I was. I am overwhelmingly grateful that God gave me an opportunity to minister to my mother. Something I gave up on long ago. How He redeems everything in our life just blows my mind. And the feeling I am left with is incredible. Not only did He use me to be there for my mother, but reminded me of the crowned creation He created me to be. A woman with a purpose, and a reflection of Him in this world. May the Christmas Season remind you of exactly that. That you have a message the world needs to hear, that it is there inside of you waiting to come out. God just wants you to be open to His plan and willing to be used by Him.